Healing Together

Verna Wyatt — Co-Founder, Tennessee Voices for Victims

My name is Verna Wyatt.
And I’m a co-founder of Tennessee Voices for Victims.

In 1991, my best friend who was my sister-in-law for 14 years was raped and murdered. Since then, I’ve been a fierce advocate for victims in our state, and I’ve been equally fierce in my activism to lock up offenders. My stance: No more victims. Lock them up. No second chances.

But then some events began to challenge some of my opinions.

First, a friend asked if I would share my personal story in a victim impact class at Riverbend Maximum Security. I told her absolutely not. I don’t like offenders.
But later, I agreed only because she was my friend.

That day at Riverbend, I wanted those men to feel pain. And they did, but not in the way that I was expecting. They literally received my pain. I could see it all over their faces. I could hear it in their voices.

I thought, if only one of these men remembered my story when they get out, then perhaps they won’t create another victim.

An assistant commissioner was there that day, and he said to me later:
Verna, I know you want to lock them up and throw away the key, but that just isn’t reality. The reality is that 98 percent of the people incarcerated are coming back to your community. How do you want them to come back?

That was like a punch in my gut because I never once thought about them coming back. How did I ignore that reality?

And then, as God would have it, and also against my will, I accepted a meeting with Carl Carlson, founder of Men of Valor. I told him
before we even met:
Mr. Carlson, we have nothing in common. I work with victims. You work with offenders.

But at that meeting, I was blown away by his personal story of redemption and the incredibly successful work he was doing in the name of Jesus.
As I left that meeting, I thought, if Carl Carlson hadn’t been given a second chance, the world would not be a better place. That’s for sure.
Then, through a series of God directed circumstances, my co-founder, Valerie Craig, and I actually began teaching weekly victim impact classes in prison and jail. We partnered with Men of Valor and have proudly facilitated victim impact with their men for 15 years.
Now, when Valerie and I first began teaching victim impact, all we wanted the offender to know was the pain that they had caused.
But because we are victim advocates, it wasn’t long before we realized our entire class was comprised of victims. Men who grew up in chaos, abuse, violence, and addiction.

Now that’s absolutely no excuse to hurt people, but it absolutely explains the behavior.

There are 25 years of research on trauma, especially childhood trauma, that tells us untreated, it creates deep anger, it disables empathy, and it imposes risky behaviors and addiction. We know this is true.

That is why victim advocates rush out immediately to support people who have been victimized by child abuse, child sex abuse, domestic violence, rape, and homicide.
Yet our prisons are full of people who have these very same victimizations, layers of these victimizations, and we as a society just ignore it.

Well, my eyes are open now, and I’m convinced that if we truly want to stop victimization, if we truly want to stop that generational march to prison, we must begin turning our attention to heal the trauma of those who caused the harm.
That is what Men of Valor is doing, and they are doing it with success.

I thank God every day for Men of Valor, because their work literally translates to no more victims.
I will always be a fierce advocate for victims of crime and for justice, but Carl Carlson, I was so very wrong. Our work has everything in common.

Isaiah 43:19
See, I am doing a new thing.
Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.


Thank you.

Verna Wyattwww.tnvoicesforvictims.org